Magic the Gathering has a long and storied history. A history rich with creativity and cutting edge fantasy game design. That is not to say there haven’t been some stumbles along the way. Every great card idea has it’s mirror terrible one. However, those terrible ideas are not what I am referring to here. This is about those special few cards that are described as the worst ever. Cards so bad when they hit the table they inspire more than laughter. They make your opponent truly worry about your sanity.
awful. . . but awful enough?
When judging a terrible card there are many things to consider. How unreasonable is the casting cost, mana and otherwise? Do the drawbacks out-weigh the advantages? The bigger the gap, the worse the card. Also, is the card useful? Niche cards are nice, but some go beyond anything I would call ‘useful’. Finally, what is the rarity of the card? Commons are often fillers in a set, but rares are expected to be good every time. Opening a booster to find the Skull of Orm is a rusted WotC knife in the back.
Now that we have our criteria let us get to the countdown. First, there are many tough omissions from this list. Cards like Leeches, Security Detail, Wellgabber Apothecary, North Star, and Jandor’s Ring are putrid. Even without a ranking they are still shameful. These next cards, however, are the worst of the worst. The five least playable cards ever printed. Presented in reverse order:
5. Chimney Imp, Mirrodin common - The worst creature from this decade comes in at number five. Having a 1/2 flyer is cool and there is a mildly useful ability. It’s the casting cost that makes Chimney Imp so awful. Look what you can get for the same cost in the very same set! If it cost four, it would only be bad. At five mana Chimney Imp is tragic.
4. Phyrexian Tribute, Mirage rare – Only three black cards that destroy artifacts have ever been made. One of them is pretty bad and another only destroys your own. Phyrexian Tribute is the last and the worst. Do you really need to get rid of an artifact that bad? If so, how desperate to play mono-black are you that you can’t splash any of the three anti-artifact colors? These questions should be rhetorical, but thanks to Phyrexian Tribute they haunt me. As a kicker it is a rare and sorcery-slow to play.
i'm starting to get angry
3. Aysen Highway, Homelands rare - Homelands has a well-deserved reputation for being one of the worst expansions in Magic. Aysen Highway has the dubious distinction of being the worst card in Homelands. All the criteria are present with this one. A stupid ability that will help your foes at least as much as you. (Yes, it is likely that if your opponent has plains they also have white creatures!) If you have to pay white mana for it, why not endow swampwalk, or mountainwalk? Also, the six man casting cost is insane. At least it is a rare, and thank god for that. It means you might never have to see it again.
2. Aladdin’s Lamp, Arabian Nights rare - The craziest part of Aladdin’s Lamp is actually not the casting cost. No, the craziest part of Aladdin’s Lamp is that is was included in the same core set as Demonic Tutor! Ten mana for the opportunity to basically choose what you draw each turn. No, actually it is worse than that. Really it’s ten mana for the opportunity to spend more mana to maybe find a card you need. It is hard to imagine the dream scenario here. Spend ten mana, wait until your next turn and spend five more to find your Serra Angel and use your final five mana to play her. If you’re scoring at home, that was twenty mana for one 4/4 flyer. In the immortal words of Stan Lee, “Nuff Said.”
no!
1. Wood Elemental, Legends rare - It should be hard to choose any creature as the worst card in MTG history. After all, creatures can always be counted on to serve a simple purpose. However, the less than under-whelming Wood Elemental made that choice easy. Take a look at the criteria. It has rare availability, and every deck can use at least one creature. So why is it so unplayable? Take a closer look at that casting cost. Pay four mana and all you get is a 0/0, dead as it hits the board. Lands are needed to give Woody bite. Not just any lands mind you. Only. . . untapped. . . forests. WHAT!? To make a 2/2 creature with no abilities we need to pay four mana and then sacrifice two of our remaining forests. The irony is that not only was Legends based on big beaters, but green was supposed to have the best. Wood Elemental should never have seen print. The prosecution rests it’s case.
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comments:
#1: If playing green, you could usually generate mana with creatures (Druids). Use them to cast the Wood Elemental and then sacrifice your four untapped mountains. Could work, but nevertheless not a good card.
#2: Unfortunately the link to the card’s picture doesn’t work, so I didn’t see Aladdin’s Lamp. Maybe it’s better this way.
#3: I had to laugh at it. It’s an enchantment with an ability to give your opponent free attacks. Maybe you have some combat damage prevention in your hand, maybe you could exchange your plains with opponent’s non-plains, or maybe you just play with non-basic lands to get your white mana – so no plains, no pains.
But that are too much “maybe”s. Voting for this card as stupid decision.
#4: Sacrificing creatures isn’t that bad for black. Use unearth or other black abilities to get the sacrified creatures back to your hand or into play. But you’re right: Not the card of first choice for me either.
#5: Bad casting cost, so I won’t play it.
And one additional comment to “Wellgabber Apothecary”: It’s not too bad. You can use it with Merfolks that give you life for tapping or give tapping for milling, so it could be an option in Merfolk decks.
Pes: Link Fixed
Dang.. that Wood elemental..
Best case scenario… you somehow pay for it some other way…have sacrificed like 7 forests (probably all of your forests and have a 7/7 non trample creature.
Nice.
Thanks for the input Pes. Allow me to respond:
#1 – The real problem with Woody is it is so easily relaced by its contemporaries like Ironroot Treefolk or Craw Wurm.
#2 – Once you see the picture you will understand.
#3 – It costs SIX mana!?
#4 – Another card that can be so easily replaced. Best case you are spending 2 mana to unearth and 3 more to cast the spell. Thats too many for one artifact. . .
#5 – Not sure why this card was made. Is there a combo here I don’t see?
You left off Sorrow’s Path. I don’t think in the history of Magic, this card has ever been played.
If that is so, it’s because nobody knows ‘how’ to play it. I barely understand the rules wording after reading it twice.
BaconBehemoth: Sorrow’s path is actually an almost-playable combo with zuberas. I admit this is a narrow use for the card, but it still beats many of the other available options. I’d personally consider north star the worst. It’s just so much worse than using lands to fix the mana you need for whatever you would play with it. 4 mana and a card that costs 4 to play itself itself is a LOT to pay for making one card a turn colorless. At least wood elemental can combo with early harvest to give you a turn 7 7/7. Hey if you have a terravore in play that’s probably not a bad play…
Well, I have a “Sorrows Path Deck”.
In one of the old Scrye magazines, it was voted as the worst card ever and the challenge with our friends at the time was to bulid a deck that featured it.
So…it is a deck based on actually giving Sorrows Path to my opponent (if you are given lemons, don’t make lemonade…give the lemons to your opponent!). The card “Political Trickery” was tailor-made for it (in addition to taking one of their best lands…at the time, usually a Dual Land!!!). It staves off elimination pretty well by using “Lifeforce” and “Slight of Mind”, or “Mind Games” to counter your main spells, in addition to general Blue Denial.
Besides the nominal creatures named earlier, it has some Mishra’s to do damage but that’s about it (besides the creatures swapped with Gauntlets of Chaos or taken with Control Magic).
It is a U/G deck that uses artifacts (IcyMans) and creatures (Juniper Order Druid) to tap and untap it causing damage to my opponent and his creatures. Also, Quirion Druid would make his lands 2/2 creatures which would die off when Sorrow’s Path was tapped.
I believe it was actually ruled illegal to do (forced tapping does not inflict damage), but my friends that I still play with let me play it that way because it’s so damn funny. Of all my theme decks, it is really one of the funniest. You can’t imagine the laughter when someone has done 20 damage to himself with Sorrow’s Path.
STRIKE THAT…I see in early 2008, WOTC actually issued errata on this card allowing it to do exactly what I used it for in my Sorrow’s Path deck. It is also helped by some additional blue creatures (some merfolk cleric) that swap lands when they come into play.
Sweet…will have to update this deck. It’s win% might go up from 35% or so to about 50%.
Common Cause anyone? A card that costs W2 that either gives both your and your opponent’s creatures +2/+2 if they all (as in you and your opponents are all playing mono white decks) share a color or does nothing.
Simply, your creatures are the same for the purposes of blocking and being blocked if every player agreed to have the same color creatures or nobody gets anything.
@sweetestsadist: I’m not sure Common Cause should be on the top ten. Vey workable, especially if you have more creatures than your opponent.
Although it’s hard, I can actually think of a few cards Wood Elemental would work somewhat well with (countryside crusher, knight of the reliquary, crucible of worlds, lord of extinction). But even so, it still might be the worst card ever.
Yes, but Common Cause only works if your opponents have the same color creatures you have. I know there are cards that make all creatures the same color, but that’s an extra slot that has to be added to a combo (i.e. harder to get out) that you have to hope you have more creatures than your opponents to work. That slot could just simply have an overrun.
I actually think North Star may be the worst, it’s the hardest to combo anything with. The only card it might be at all useful for is Progenitus, and even then 14 colorless isn’t really easier to get than 10 colored.
Great list man!
One card that certainly warrants an inclusion is Juju Bubble. It’s a Visions Uncommon, when you look it up on Gatherer or whatever I’ll buy a beer for whoever doesn’t start violently vomiting with rage at the sight of this ungodly cardboard rectangle.
Jesus CHRIST. I think Juju Bubble may truly be the worst card ever in Magic.
JUJU BUBBLE IS HILARIOUS
I have to agree. Juju Bubble is hilariously bad, and this list needs it.
agreed, I had to laugh when I saw it. That card is just pathetic.
http://magiccards.info/hl/en/126.html
Chack this XD
Evey single card mentioned here is more playable than Lich’s Mirror. “Nuff Said”
You’re right, except against a deck that aims to “grind” all your cards in you library (using glimpse the unthinkable ect.). It is unbeatable against them, believe me!
Steamflogger Boss, anyone?