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Main » Articles » You've Got to Be Cruel to Be Kind . . . of Awesome

You've Got to Be Cruel to Be Kind . . . of Awesome

Blake Rasmussen
Posted on April 12, 2013
 Reddit

I had it in mind this week to talk about a really hot-button issue, one that makes my blood boil and forces me to walk away from matches—a habit so insidious that it ruins scores of games, leads to yards of frustration, and costs players match . . . after match . . . after match.

The plan was to write an insightful article meant to help less-experienced players take another step in considering a dimension of their games they may not have even thought of before. It was going to be helpful, instructive, and something people could reference.

But then I realized we were starting Dragon’s Maze previews, so screw that.

I will come back to the topic—which is, essentially, on the myriad ways players mistap lands and misappropriate their mana, a crucial if unexciting subject—another week we aren’t seeing sweet previews from the upcoming set.

In the meantime, two cards with very different applications caught my eye in the initial week, cards I’ll certainly be working to make work once all of Dragon’s Maze is spoiled, cards that really haven’t received much attention since they were spoiled earlier this week:

The Section Where I Justify the Title of This Article

3br

Master of Cruelties

Mythic Rare

Creature – Demon

First strike, deathtouch

Master of Cruelties can only attack alone.

Whenever Master of Cruelties attacks a player and isn't blocked, that player's life total becomes 1. Master of Cruelties assigns no combat damage this combat.

1/4

The cruelest of masters has obvious applications in Commander, but that’s not actually where I’m most interested in him. Despite the sadistically goofy feel of this card, I think it might actually have a shot in Standard, possibly in main decks, but most likely in the sideboards of Rakdos-based control and midrange decks.

Specifically, I feel that this guy could add some much-needed oomph to Grixis control decks. Grixis control hasn’t actually been a thing since they printed Sphinx's Revelation, but the tools are potentially there. All of the best removal is B/R, and Mutilate and Mizzium Mortars can step in for Supreme Verdict—albeit not nearly as well—meaning we’re really just short a Revelation-like card to make it the superior choice for control.

But this guy might actually change the game. For one, it’s not actually an embarrassing card to play in the main deck. It’s one of a select few cards that beats Thragtusk straight up, it holds the ground exceptionally well, and when the time is right, it combines with the Searing Spear or Pillar of Flame you’re surely playing to just end the game.

Mizzium Mortars
But the truly exciting application might actually be out of the sideboard of nearly creatureless control decks. I’ve been playing Bant Fog variants for a little bit now, and one of my favorite strategies against other control decks is siding in Thragtusks. While my main plan is elsewhere, Thragtusks often require the opponent to dedicate resources he doesn’t have or otherwise can’t spare just to keep from being run over—and usually after he’s sided out removal.

And speaking of Fog, this guy beats that straight up, no matter how many Fogs the opponent has access to.

Master of Cruelties can serve much the same role as post-boarded Thragtusks or even Jace, Memory Adept as a sort of control mirror trump. You have to work a little bit to make sure it kills the turn it hits, but between Searing Spear, Rakdos's Return, Stensia Bloodhall, Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius, and the new planeswalker Ral Zarek, there are plenty of ways to make that happen incidentally.

Also note that he’s a Demon, and from what we’ve seen of Magic 2014, that very well could be a creature type that matters in the medium-future.

But in the short term future, I’d look for something in Grixis, maybe something like this:

"Cruel Grixis"

The deck makes pretty good use of new guy on the block Ral Zarek, though I’d like to fit more counterspells in the main to make the Twiddle ability better. Note the synergies between Ral Zarek and, well, a lot of things. Master of Cruelties can attack and block and, if it’s unblocked, Ral just wins the game on the spot. Ral Zarek also can double up on Drownyards in control mirrors or just accelerate you to a turn-five Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius.

That Time They Printed Not-Quite-Restoration Angel

wu

Deputy of Acquittals

Common

Creature – Human Wizard

Flash

When Deputy of Acquittals enters the battlefield, you may return another target creature you control to its owner's hand.

2/2

I’ll admit it’s neither flashy nor too overwhelming, and it certainly doesn’t acquit itself well in a fight with larger monsters, but I also know I bounced with joy when I saw this card.

Why? Because I’m a sucker for blue Wizards with flash—that’s why. Also, it’s basically half a Restoration Angel.

Stick with me for a second now.

Much of Restoration Angel’s charm is the 3/4 flying body at instant speed. Many a combat has been spoiled by everyone’s favorite Simian Grunts, and many a planeswalker’s defenses have been broken down by this winged avenger.

But the over-the-top application of Resto is its ability to pop other creatures in and out of existence, particularly if they have built-in enters-the-battlefield abilities. As a bonus, it does so at zero cost.

Restoration Angel
Deputy of Acquittals can’t make that last claim. Anything it targets won’t come back until you pay full retail, and it certainly can’t untap anything at instant speed.

However, when the rest of your deck is built to take advantage of creatures with flash or creatures cheap enough to replay, Deputy of Acquittals starts to look a lot more enticing.

The primary target of this Human Wizard will probably be Snapcaster Mage, and rightfully so. When held next to Restoration Angel, the two pair fairly similarly with Snapcaster. Both can be used to flash back a spell right then and there for 4 mana, both require w, and both leave a body behind.

Yes, Resto’s bigger—which I’ll admit is a significant difference—but Deputy has some utility that even Restoration Angel doesn’t: It lets you put it on the board while saving Snapcaster Mage for later.

It’s also another aggressive-ish 2-drop for blue, which might enable a return to Runechanter's Pike–based W/U aggressive decks, probably with Geist of Saint Traft headlining. Note that Deputy of Acquittals makes a pretty decent savior for any Geist that’s gotten itself into trouble

"Azorius Tempo"

Not sure if we need or even want the Caverns, but I would at least start with some number and move from there. It might just be too many colorless lands in a deck that doesn’t really align its creature types.

Speaking of aligning creature types, the fact that both Snapcaster Mage and Deputy of Acquittals are Human Wizards certainly caught my eye. We might be able to do something with Cavern and these two studs. Let’s start with the lesser of the two: Wizard. There aren’t really any Wizardly synergies in Standard right now, but the short list of playable Wizards does have some of the best past and present players around:

Talrand, Sky Summoner

Augur seems to be the most ready to be Acquitted (being Deputized just doesn’t sound right), but I wouldn’t sleep on the others. In fact, substitute Talrand for Restoration Angel and Delver of Secrets for Geist of Saint Traft in the above decklist, and you might have something very interesting. You could even shave a land or two to pack more spells or you could pack more Caverns and more white sources and try to play Boros Reckoner.

But W/U Wizards isn’t cool. You know what’s really cool? A billion dollars W/U Humans.

At Pro Tour: Gatecrash in Montreal, there was a W/U Humans deck that, while it didn’t set the room on fire, did manage to put up 18 points in the Standard portion of the event thanks to Ludwig Londos.

"W/U Humans"

Deputy of Acquittals would provide a lot of extra dimensions to a deck such as this. It can reset Lyev Skyknight, Azorius Arrester, or Riders of Gavony, it can pair with Silverblade Paladin or Wingcrafter at instant speed or return something to re-pair, it can turn Fiend Hunter into a permanent removal spell or simply reset it when something bigger comes along, and it can work with other copies of itself or cheap Humans to add counters to Champion of the Parish.

I think, to start with, I’d try something along these lines.

"W/U Deputy Humans"

The Goldnight Commander would be something I would try, as it might enable some instant-speed pumps that could be relevant. It’s probably not good and should just be Riders of Gavony, but that’s why we test. Other options include Loyal Cathar, letting him be reset after dying once; Mentor of the Meek in some kind of a draw engine; Mikaeus, the Lunarch if he needs to be reset; Nearheath Pilgrim to re-pair; War Priest of Thune to do War Priest of Thune things; or even Slayer of the Wicked to, um, slay more wicked things.

Is this any good? Honestly, I have no idea. It seems as though there’s potential, but picking up another playable Human—maybe another Arrester—could make it more likely to work.

Now, if they printed a flash Wizard that countered a spell, well, we might just be in business . . .

The Section Where Blake Thinks about Things He’s Thinking

Things I think I’m thinking, Dragon’s Maze edition:

  • Ral Zarek is pretty good, but mostly to sling some Lightning Bolts and help you keep mana up. You can mostly ignore his ultimate. Unless you’re me. In which case it will be your only goal in life for the next few months.

  • I would love Sin Collector if it hit creatures and/or planeswalkers. As it is, I plan to curse its name every time it takes my Sphinx's Revelation.

  • Why does a dragon get to claim ownership of the maze? Isn’t the maze marked by the guild gates, which I’m pretty sure Niv-Mizzet had nothing to do with the placement of, beyond possibly the Izzet gate?

  • I’m very happy to not have to draft Gatecrash again soon. The format wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t great, whereas Return to Ravnica certainly was amazing.

  • Advent of the Wurm and Ruric Thar, the Unbowed will both kill me many, many times.

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TAGS articles, standard, constructed, spoiler, editorial, preview, deck lists, dragon's maze, blake rasmussen, analydid

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