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Punishment

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I have been thinking a lot lately about one of our tenets, namely that we prefer to punish our opponents for doing things than to prevent them from doing things. This sounds nice, but when you get down to it, it’s often a lot more difficult than we think. That is to say, it’s much, much easier to find cards that prevent our opponents from doing things. Gaddock Teeg is a pretty straightforward card, for example. If Gaddock Teeg is your commander, you want to summon him early and keep him around, and you want to build your deck around being deprived of expensive spells. It’s a legitimate strategy. The examples of commanders who punish our opponents for doing things isn’t as easy to populate, though, is it? You can rattle off a dozen cards that stop opponents from doing things: City of Solitude, Smoke, Null Rod, and nine other cards. I could do it. I said you could rattle off a dozen cards, not that I was going to. I was trying to prove a point. You’re not going to let this go, are you? Fine. Erebos, God of the Dead, Winter Orb, Blazing Archon, City in a Bottle, Vexing Shusher, Dragonlord Dromoka, Gaea's Herald, Spellbreaker Behemoth, and Surrak Dragonclaw. That was easy. And those were just cards that prevent things categorically off the top of my head. That’s not even going into cards like Last Word and Overmaster that prevent players from doing more minor, but still impactful, things.

Surrak Dragonclaw
We’re not about doing what’s easy here at 75%, so I decided I’m going to do the slightly harder work of coming up with the kinds of cards we want to run in place of some of those cards. That’s not to say I don’t think Surrak Dragonclaw could be a 75% commander, because he could. That’s also not to say that I think Autumn's Veil or a similar card doesn’t have a place in a 75% deck, because that’s not true. What I am implying is that we prefer to run Wrath of God to Armageddon. One of those cards punishes opponents for overextending, and the other punishes them for inviting us to join their playgroup. Blowing up all of their lands stops them from playing Magic, which is rude. But how do we actually do the harder work of finding ways to punish them? Is this rule as inflexible as it could be applied or are we merely trying to think about different categories of cards to make our decks less unfun to play against but still effective (it’s the second one, by the way—I can’t say that enough). We’re trying to choose Painful Quandary over Smokestacks. Anyone who has ever felt the squeeze of a Painful Quandary will tell you that it’s no picnic. We’re not trying to wrap our decks’ sharp edges in Nerf, we’re trying to beat our opponents while still allowing them to do stuff. Yes, building 75% is hard sometimes. If it were easy, I wouldn’t write an article every week—I would write a tweet every week, saying stuff like, “Wow, Nekusar just builds itself. Neat,” or, “Casting Armageddon while you have Archangel Avacyn in play is lolz,” or, “I swear to god if one of you tweets a GOT spoiler you’re #dead,” and we could call it a series. This is tough but worth it.

Since it can be difficult to find cards to punish our opponents, I decided, this week, we could look at some of the kinds of cards I like for those situations and maybe cards they can replace or decks they can go in. For the purposes of this article, I’m going to focus on cards worth playing. Remember, 75% doesn’t mean terrible, and as easy as I could make things on myself by including cards like Aether Sting (it’s a forty-turn clock!), I prefer to list cards I’d actually play. When I refer to “punisher” cards in this context, I’m looking at cards that punish your opponents for doing things and not the typical Magic context wherein a punisher is a card punishes an opponent for not having any good options. You’re not going to find Dash Hopes or Browbeat on my list, just Karmic Justice and No Mercy. I hope we come up with some gems you didn’t know about or had forgotten about and that this helps you think about punishing opponents for doing their things and using that advantage to win doing your thing. Punishing isn’t usually as effective as preventing, but it’s a lot less unfun, and how effective it can be just might surprise you. Without further preamble, I present some of my favorite “punishers.”

Blood SeekerThis belongs to a class of creatures that can punish your opponents for overextending or trying to go infinite with Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker combos or other shenanigans. I like Pious Evangel from Shadows over Innistrad in the decks that can play it as well. Blood Seeker can do a lot of damage, and I think it’s worth a spot, especially if your opponents like to play a lot of creatures.

Bloodchief AscensionWhile this is a combo card sometimes, combining with cards like Mindcrank, this is also just a solid punisher card that can really grind opponents out. I like the squeeze it puts on them. Sometimes, though, they’re just being punished for having creatures for you to kill or a library for you to mill. That’s not inconsistent with our tenets, I feel.

Blood Seeker
Bloodchief Ascension
Burgeoning

BurgeoningThis card is going nuts in price, mostly because The Gitrog Monster reminded people this is nutty and lands are popular again. This doesn’t so much punish opponents as it does keep them from pulling ahead, but that’s really at the heart of what we’re trying to accomplish. They’re free to play extra lands, and now you are, too.

Cosi's TricksterOkay, this is mostly on here as a joke but, stop shuffling your stupid library so much, opponents.

Dragonlair SpiderThis is a great way to build up a big army and feed it to Thromok, the Insatiable. I like this with Doubling Season et al because, suddenly, every spell an opponent plays can potentially give you enough power to take a real chunk out of someone.

Cosi's Trickster
Dragonlair Spider
Dread

DreadNo Mercy with feet? Yes, please.

Eyes of the WisentThis almost feels like a sideboard card, but how often are there zero blue decks at the table? This isn’t as good in multiplayer because opponents will just do their end-of-turn shenanigans on someone else’s turn, but it can still make them think twice about countering or bouncing your stuff.

Farsight MaskI think this card is underrated, but it’s also pretty expensive in terms of mana, which is too bad. I like drawing cards, and if you’re going to be hit either way, why not make out?

Eyes of the Wisen
Farsight Mask
Flameblade Angel

Flameblade AngelThis is a new card but a formidable one. Maybe opponents will attack someone else for a change.

Forced FruitionThe ninety-nine-card nature of Commander sidelined this card until Nekusar, the Mindrazer came along, but I like the idea of using this to accelerate opponents’ deaths to milling if you can somehow keep from being buried under the card advantage this gives them. You probably just play this in Nekusar, but this used to make me cackle like a madman in Limited.

Hermit of the NatterknollsA lot of these hose blue players. Good.

Forced Fruition
Hermit of the Natterknolls
Hunting Grounds

Hunting GroundsThis is a very strong card that I feel is underrated. Opponents really have to think twice about what they play when this is out and switched on. You can cheat some very big stuff into play very early while they’re durdling with Solemn Simulacrum and Burnished Hart. I like it.

Ichneumon DruidLegacy made this card expensive and made people notice very briefly, but I feel it has a lot of utility in Commander, especially if opponents are going to play a ton of stupid cantrips or card-draw spells. This also punishes them for playing multiple spells on your turns.

Kaervek the MercilessI wish this cost less mana because this would be a hilarious commander.

Ichneumon Druid
Kaervek the Merciless
Karmic Justice

Karmic JusticeAptly named, this is a great equalizer. Blow up my stuffs at your peril.

Kazuul, Tyrant of the CliffsOpponents may think twice before attacking you, especially if your new chump-blockers are triggering Warstorm Surge.

Lurking PredatorsThis is in my punisher hall of fame. This is just so good and makes your opponents really agonize over their plays. I love it.

Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs
Lurking Predators
Martyr's Bond

Martyr's BondLike Karmic Justice, this makes opponents think twice about trying to mess with you. It’s expensive but also pretty damaging.

Memory ErosionProbably not fast enough for a ninety-nine-card format, this can combine with other mill cards (Forced Fruition maybe) and make opponents economize their spells a little. I’m not advocating for this card as much as I am pointing out it’s of the category we like and has potential use.

Michiko Konda, Truth SeekerCan you imagine an entire white deck full of effects like this? Opponents will probably attack other people preferentially, leaving you to develop your board and put the screws to them when they’re blooded from the attrition battles they’re fighting with the rest of the table.

Memory Erosion
Michiko Konda, Truth Seeker
Mind's Eye

Mind's EyeLess a punisher and more an equalizer, this is still the kind of thing we want to be doing in a 75% deck, and this card is worth jamming in a lot of decks.

MindsparkerMaybe too narrow for Commander with its deck-size limits and lack of sideboard, this can still make opponents think twice about playing a ton of Brainstorm-type spells.

Mystic RemoraA fun card in Vintage, I have been trying to make this a thing in Commander for a while. This is probably harder to maintain than Rhystic Study, but it’s very powerful, and I like it a lot. Please help me make this a thing.

Mindsparker
Mystic Remora
No Mercy

No MercyA Dread without feet? Yes, please.

Painful QuandaryThis card is so very good. Your opponent has to make a lot of tough choices with this in play, and tough choices force mistakes. This is the exact type of card we want here.

Palliation AccordI don’t see this played much, but I think it could be a thing. It’s certainly pretty easy to trigger, and if you can somehow generate way more counters per trigger, you could blank almost as much damage as opponents are sending at you.

Painful Quandary
Palliation Accord
Polluted Bonds

Polluted BondsFor those of you who don’t agree with equalizer cards being in a list you were hoping would be one hundred percent punisher cards, this is for you.

ReparationsThis may make opponents think twice about messing with you—or will at least help you grind some advantage out of being messed with. This card seems underrated to me and is a great, and less annoying, substitute for a card like Rhystic Study.

Rhystic StudyThis is the third time I have mentioned this card. This goes in decks because it is very good. We like cards like this in 75% decks.

Reparations
Rhystic Study
Scab-Clan Berserker

Scab-Clan BerserkerThis is obviously more punishing in formats in which 2 damage is 10% of your life total, this card still matters, I think.

Sire of StagnationThis is a poor man’s Consecrated Sphinx for now, but I love it.

Spelltithe EnforcerThis is the right class of card, but I worry it goes in the wrong kind of deck since this is brutal in a Hokori, Dust Drinker deck or coupled with Winter Orb. I worry that this prevents opponents from doing more than it punishes. This is still a brutal card, though, and I’d give it a look.

Sire of Stagnation
Spelltithe Enforcer
Summoning Trap

Summoning TrapLike Hunting Grounds, this can cheat stuff into play very nicely. Counterspells are annoying, so annoy opponents right back with an Eldrazi to the face.

Suture PriestSo. Good. This does double-duty, and it’s in the right color for you to take advantage of both halves.

Taurean MaulerThere aren’t too many red cards on this list, but this one belongs. This can grow pretty large, and it’s probably the best ferret card Wizards has ever printed.

Suture Priest
Taurean Mauler
Thunderbreak Regent

Thunderbreak RegentThis was better in Standard, but I do like how annoying to kill it can be.

Tunnel IgnusThis triggers a lot in Commander.

Voice of ResurgenceI really hope there is a copy of this bad boy in the G/W Commander (2016 Edition) deck (provided that’s what we’re getting) because this is so good in token decks and it punishes opponents for doing things on others’ turns.

Tunnel Ignus
Voice of Resurgence
Lurking Predators

I am sure I missed a ton, but this list should give us a starting point to start looking at the kinds of cards we include in our decks a little differently. It’s effective to blow up all of opponents’ lands, but it’s just plain fun to let them have all the mana in the world but be afraid to use it because they don’t know what you’re going to reveal with Lurking Predators. Did I leave out a card you like to run in your decks? Did something pop into your head looking at this list that you think everyone should know about? Let me know in the comments. Until next week!


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